Motivation: What Works?

Motivation: What Works?
by: William Frank Diedrich



Blame and criticism are highly overrated as motivators. You already know this. Think about it. When you spent a lot of time trying to correct someone--an employee, your spouse, your parent, your child, anyone--did it work? When someone was blaming and critical of you, did it work? Like most of us, you probably felt the blaming was unfair or inappropriate. The problem is that blaming and criticism don't inspire us. If you are sensitive, they make you feel small. There is an answer.

Blaming and criticism arise out of frustration. We see that the behavior of another is not what we want, and so we try to blame it away. As I look back on my careers as a teacher, coach, executive, and consultant I can see all of the times I was ineffective as a critic. Blaming and criticism may serve you as a way of venting your frustration, but they don't get the job done. The result is continuous struggle and/or removing the person from your sight. We stop talking to our child or spouse. We move the troublesome employee to another department or do our best to avoid them. There is a better way.

We tell ourselves that we tried and that we just couldn't succeed in getting them to change. The problem, of course, is that we were trying to change the wrong person. In fact, we cannot change other people. We can only change ourselves. Our attempts to change others create frustration, stress, and blaming. Relationships become strained and dysfunctional (meaning "not working"). Yet the answer that we thought was in the other person was within us all along.

You may be skeptical at this point. After all, you had good intentions. You knew what the other person needed to do to be more effective or happier. You were right. They were the problem. Yet, the question is still nagging us. Did criticism and blaming work? Was it effective in producing the result you wanted? Be honest. It didn't work, did it? This doesn't mean that you blame yourself. Blaming and criticizing yourself doesn't work any better. What does work?

When we blame or criticize anyone, including ourselves, we are focused on what we don't want. All of our emotional energy flows into the negative. Most of what we do and say from a blaming mode actually serves to maintain or worsen the situation. We expect people to misbehave, screw up, or fail in some way. We get so emotionally invested in our judgment of their performance that we start needing for them to fail. Their failures reassure us that we were right. Their failures justify our negative opinion. Our focus on what we don't want helps us to create what we don't want.

Their failures justify our image of self as good, intelligent, or competent. An example would be the manager who blames and criticizes the employee who doesn't perform. He's failing because there is something wrong with him (lazy, not smart, no discipline). It can't be me; I'm a competent manager. By convincing ourselves about what is wrong with the other person we prevent ourselves from finding new pathways to reaching them. Our judgment becomes an impenetrable wall that blocks us from seeing any possibilities for success.

When we blame, don't see the other person as real. We fail to consider their needs and concerns, their view of the world. We resist them as people. Their behavior is inconvenient, painful, or disruptive. It gets in the way of me making my goals. One of the biggest complaints I hear from people in the workplace is the lack of respect and consideration they experience at work. They believe that their managers don't really care about them.

So, what's the answer? It's never easy, but it is possible. First we need a vision. You know what you don't want. What do you want? If this level of performance is not okay--if this behavior is not okay--what is? Clearly state what you want. Clearly tell people what the vision is. Align yourself with that vision. Do you want a workplace (or any other group you are in) where people are treated with care and respect? Do you want a place where people feel good? Do you want peak performance? Whatever you want, be it. Communicate it clearly. Give people specific positive feedback on how they are succeeding. Offer corrective feedback when people fall short. Ask them what they need. Ask for feedback from them on how you are doing at manifesting your vision. Listen and make changes.

Second, always talk to people with care. Don't get caught up in the ineffective strategy of thinking people don't deserve your respect. Offer your help. Do all that you can to create processes and relationships that support them in doing well. If they refuse to do well, find out why. Sometimes in the workplace people refuse to improve or change. Don't judge them for this. Maybe the job isn't for them. Maybe this organization is not for them. If you can't help them to change, see if someone else can. If no one can help them to change, help them to go. Refuse to accept chronic behavior that doesn't fit with the vision.

At the same time, give lots of specific praise for good work. Constantly reinforce people, and never take good work for granted. What you focus on expands. What we reinforce we strengthen. If we constantly focus on appreciating people for successes, we increase our successes.

Listen to the way people talk to each other. Challenge negative comments that are "normal". Understand the dissatisfaction that is behind the comment, and help people find appropriate ways to address it. Do not accept negative talk as a way of life.

If you want to transform your workplace (or any group you are a part of), you need to be a visionary. You need to be so into your vision that you live it every day. Mistakes are opportunities to make positive corrections, to help people, and to solve problems. Blaming and criticism are like shooting yourself in the foot. Raise your aim to a higher level. See and encourage the best in people. Believe in their ability to add to this vision. Give them the tools and the feedback to help them. Include them in the vision by listening to them; providing direct, honest communication; and treating people with the utmost care and respect.

Self Improvement Motivation: Unlock The Good Life

Self Improvement Motivation: Unlock The Good Life
by: Matthew Hick



Have you ever taken a long, hard look at your life and felt depressed when you thought about things that it lacked? Chances are, you have. No one has a perfect life. There are countless and constant ways in which a person can improve. Self-improvement motivation comes from a place inside each of us that desires to be a better person. There are several elements that are considered part of self-improvement motivation.

Among the most popular are:

- Appearance improvement
- Intellectual improvement
- Financial improvement

Dress to impress:
Appearance improvement is one of the most popular types of self-improvement motivation. For many people, there is always a pound to be lost, a gray hair to be covered up, or new clothing to be purchased. Other people get extremely obsessive about appearance improvement, paying thousands of dollars for nose jobs, liposuction, collagen implants, hair replacement, or other such procedures. Because of the media and the influence of Hollywood stars, people who are young, old, male, and female have become appearance improvement crazy. These are the often the same people who feel that appearance is all that matters in life.

Self-improvement motivation by the books:

Intellectual motivation is another key element of self-improvement motivation. The desire to become more educated or gain more knowledge on a subject drives many minds. Well-informed people are often perceived as powerful people. After all, knowledge is power.

Today, it is no surprise that more and more middle-aged adults are going back to school to get their bachelor's or master's degrees. This desire to get more education often stems from the fact that most companies are interested with employees who know how to use the latest and greatest software and computer programs. Companies are also interested in employees that have an up-to-date education. Many companies, especially larger ones, will pay for employees to go back to school or be trained for a specific job.

Most colleges and universities even have continuing education programs. These programs allow non-traditional students to learn about a subject or become educated on how to use programs for computers.

Financial improvement:

Another important element of self-improvement motivation is financial motivation. In reality, most people desire to have more money than they have at the present time. Perhaps a person wants to purchase a home, car, or an education. Perhaps someone needs to pay medical bills or legal fees, or raise a child. Finances are key to surviving in today's world. Financial self-improvement motivation often comes in the form of taking on a second or third job, investing in stocks or bonds, or learning how to save money wisely. Financial self-improvement motivation may also include asking a current employer for a promotion or a raise.

Overall, anything that motivates and in turn improves the physical, material, or mental part of a person is a form of self-improvement motivation. No one is perfect, but many of us can try to get as close as we can.